It was a week of highs and lows at the ol’ Dad & Papa household. This Papa felt like a hero and a complete schmuck . . . all before Monday's bath time.
Howard Klein, M.D., director of behavioral pediatrics at Sinai Hospital in Baltimore says, ”A 1-year-old understands that the actions he's copying have a significance.”
Yep, I learned that this week.
Here’s the current state of affairs at our house.
Parker repeats everything. He’s learning to use the volume in his voice. He’s got a memory like an elephant. He watches every move we make, and he tries to do everything that we do. He's our little shadow.
Can we all agree? This parenting sh*t ain’t for the faint of heart. As a quick note, I’ll be cussing a lot in this blog post, because it’s the only safe place for me to do so. You’ll understand why in just a second. So, I’m going to cuss here. Don’t get offended.
A couple of weeks ago, a woman hit a man in the crosswalk on a street very close to our house. It was awful and remains one of our biggest fears. We were almost hit in this same crosswalk (by our neighbor -- but that’s a-whole-nother story). This particular crosswalk is the actual game of frogger in the real world. So, that’s on my mind as the next part of this story unfolds. #justification4myactions
Dad, Parker and I walked down to our little neighborhood street on Sunday night. We grabbed some stuff at the hardware store, a cookie at the local market and then we headed over to a convenient store for one of my favorite IPAs. As we crossed the street, not one, but two cars zoom past us, almost hitting us. I’m holding Parker (and my beer) and I yell “F*cking a-hole, slow down!”
Guess what Parker said?
All the way home.
At the top of his lungs.
Like a record skipping over and over.
#ohhell #sh*ttypapa #d’oh
Obviously, this was not going to be one of my better weeks. I was super pumped and feeling great about myself. I decided to do an extra long meditation on Monday morning. I figured it couldn’t hurt to double up.
Parker and I headed back to the market on Monday morning to pick up food for dinner. We walked up to the butcher’s counter and there were numerous people waiting to be helped. This shop has no real system for organizing the chaos. Which is weird, because the dessert counter makes you take a number and wait in line. And, they are militant about it. It's stressful. I know. I buy pudding there a lot.
Back to the butcher shop. I did a quick scan to figure out where we were in line. Parker started to get a little squirmy and wanted “down” to walk around. Behind the butcher is the wine shop, so it’s not a super kid-friendly place to let the little man roam freely. I squeezed him little tighter and said, “In just a minute.”
It was finally our turn.
The butcher asked "Who’s next?", and I raised my hand. Just as I was about to order, a woman said, “Hey a-hole, I was next.”
The butcher look at me a little bewildered and said, “Are you ok with that?” I just smiled at her and politely responded, “Yes sir, I’m ok with you helping her before us. She apparently has some place to be.” As a means of distraction, I started asking Parker to point out the cows, pigs and chickens painted on the wall of the shop. I wanted to say, “Where’s the cow?” and have him point to the mean woman, but he missed that subtle pinch on his leg.
The butcher came back over and asked what he could get for us. He also wanted to know what our favorite thing in the market is. Duh. Chocolate pudding. He grabbed our chicken and a bucket of the delicious, homemade pudding (I mean they pick the cocoa fresh or some sh*t like that). He walked over, handed me the bag and said, “that’s on me.” He then said, “I’m a father, and I just really appreciated how you handled that situation. Most people wouldn’t have maintained their calm, but you just taught your kid a valuable lesson.”
He then handed me the bag and Parker (without prompting) said, “Thank you.” The kid's got some manners.
#winner #goodpapa #thepuddingisheaven
Hopefully for Parker, there are more #goodpapa moments than there are #sh*ttypapa moments. I’m not making any promises. But, the meditation helps.
In the end, I just hope Parker realizes that I’m perfectly imperfect and he loves me no matter what. Because, that’s what I’ll be doing for him.
Seriously. That pudding is enough to make you scream “Holy sh*t that’s f*cking good!” I think about it almost as much as I think about Adele.